.:Always, Aliella:.

SO. Lately i've been super stressed to the maxx and haven't been sleeping well at ALL. ughh; First, i've been trying to finish A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickens- so far the most hardest book to comprehend that i've read yet!  2nd. I've been performing more with my flute. And this coming week i have a school Holiday Concert, Wednesday, and another performance Saturday. aka; Sweet Sounds of the Holidays. Where i will be performing in our show choir, accompanying our varsity choir with a piece that i play flute on. AND i'm playing in our concert band. All on Wednesday. YIKES> and the same thing happens Friday (minus the concert band part.)  Then. on Sunday, i perform singing and playing my flute to a Christmas song for the annual church Christmas program. i'm so nervous.. 

i. am. sick. of. this. mediocrity. 

Wow. i haven't been on here in ages. My apologies.

So, tons of things in my life have changed. I'm becoming closer to my friends, and i'm having BEST FRIENDS again. Joshuah and i aren't together anymore. It was hard to do, harder to go through, but i feel better now. I loved him. There's no denying that.. but, i think he was just too serious, too much to handle, right now in my life. I'm a freshman, and high school absolutely sucked in the beginning, but it's finally starting to look up :)
Okay, here's the D.L on my love life. Me + Josh = Break up. But towards the end of that, (let's call him Z.) Made me realize how much fun a relationship could be- not planning a future together every moment. And even though i started dating Z right after Josh, deep down, i knew it wasn't going to go anywhere. But.. it was fun. It changed things up in my life and made me remember the free feeling i used to have all the time. Now i'm not like, a whore or anything. Or a player. And i don't jump from guy to guy every week. Just throwing that out there. But i think that dating should be fun. I don't think you should date for the sole purpose of finding "the one." I think you should date to find yourself; your likes, your dislikes, try new things, etc.. That's what i say. So. Z and i didn't last very long, mainly because we just didn't know each other very much. At all.
About a week after Z (i don't normally do this) my friend SPV, asked me out. This being the same guy that i had planned on dating last year before Josh ever came into the picture. I had the biggest crush on him, but.. i had been scared our friendship would be ruined if it didn't work out. So.. i never went for it. *fast forward through the josh stage* ANYWAYS> i said yes to SPV. And it's great. We're going to Homecoming together. We've been dating for almost a week, and i feel like I'm going slow in a relationship (which is how it should be) and really enjoying every moment of it. *** cue sigh of relief ***
Next. My friend, yelled at me after Josh and i broke it off. Some swearing language was involved, and it wasn't pretty. She claimed i always do this and that i should've contacted her during the summer more (she moved over the summer). All i can say is, a phone works 2 ways.

My schedule's been full, my classes have been long, but I've never been happier. Constantly going helps me function better, i don't deal well with being home a lot. It slows me down. At this rate with French Club, Synergy (show choir), Marching Band, and staying after school going back through last year's Algebra 1 content, I'm booked. Thank goodness.
Anyways, i got to go dye my hair. Possibly. *** psst: hopefully! ***

xoxo,
Aliella-
♥

One: i don't know why the title i chose, is, well, the title i chose.
Two: I'm sighing quite a lot right now.
Three: I'm not quite sure what to think about life right now.

> Lately, I've had Marching Band Camp, which is totally exhausting, but so much fun! i loved it :) Also, my mother has a boyfriend. Weird, but true. And i met his 2 daughters the other day... and now, my dear sister is pregnant. Exciting ;]

I've realized, these last two weeks, I've been focused on band camp, and going to it, then later coming home. For the last 2 weeks, I've been genuinely almost carefree. Now that it's over?
Reality is setting back in.
My honest-to-blog bestie since birth? We're now.. good friends.. & family. And sadly, i think her "best friend" is turning her atheist.
My best friend for 3 years, moved away. I have no idea how she expected me and our other best friend to survive high school without her. But we're trying. I'm worried sick about her, though.
My ex, best friend. I can barely ever talk to him anymore without upsetting someone.

Obviously, i don't believe in just "one" best friend. Honestly, because I've never had one person that's always been there, that I've grown up with, that when we go to each other's houses, it's like going to our 2nd family's house. More in my life, i have someone who's my best friend, for every stage of my life.. sad, but true.