Tuesday, February 24, 2009


you know when people tell you not to try to grow up so fast? well, i don't try to.. i think i just do it naturally. With past events in my life, I've been forced with decisions i shouldn't have ever been pressured to make. My  decision literally was a matter of life and death, at age 10.  

But since then, i find myself longing to do things i won't be doing for at least 4 more years. And then i get slightly depressed. Anyways, so today- we picked our classes for High school next year. And you know how people say that high school is some of the best years of your life? Well, honestly, i don't want to go through high school. Somehow, i wish i could fast-forward, or even totally skip out on it. It simple does not interest me. 
Yes, I'm still interested in picking certain classes, and I'll admit, I'm kind of anticipating my new freshman status.. but other than that.. i want to go onto college already. i want to experience being an adult already, which ties into "growing up to fast" and i know some people will try to give me reasons why being an adult isn't that great and stay young as long as possible. Truthfully? i really don't care that I'll have to do things like work a job, pay taxes, balance a checkbook. reasons i want to be an adult? I can have a family. I can look back on my memories and see how every thing's changed. I can live, love, and laugh freely. 
Plus, people will stop saying I'm too young to know what love is, or using the phrase," you'll understand when you're older." Which leads me to another point. I hate those phrases. And you know why? Because 9 out of 10 times, I've already had more experience with matters of life than the person that it comes out of. If we're too young to know what love is.. than how do us "kids" give our lives to Christ? Or recognize his eternal love for us? And if we can't "understand" at our age, how has our generation survived thus far? 
This generation, my generation, we've lived. We've experienced. We've been through things- people older than us have never dreamed of. We KNOW what love is. We UNDERSTAND, quite fine, thank you. and even if this hasn't proved a point, then what qualifies (the ones who say these phrases) to say these like they DO know it..? 
that's what i thought.


p.s. if you like this blog, let your voice be heard! Leave a comment, and please- please-please become a lovely follower! ;] it's much appreciated. 

Saturday, February 21, 2009


As good news, I've begun to write my book again- yay!

and it's all going very well..
another thing is, i headed to Barnes & Noble last night and purchased an adorable teensy journal to document dreams and ambitions of mine.. 
;] I'm very excited about it.
sorry this isn't very long, but I'll post again soon!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Just a little picture..

picture from flikr ;]

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>i love these glasses ;) <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

   picture by moi!

Just a little picture..

Step 1:

My dear beautiful darlings,

>>> from the previous posts- this is part of the continuation.
To get away from our poseur-ness. 
Step one is now: 
                  -be completely honest about anything & everything.

Is it the first baby steps to full recovery of our previous, more down-to-earth selves?

Always (& forever),

Monday, February 16, 2009


This Picture is absolutely fantastic.  It's.. breathtaking.

and i have absolutely no clue, why i put this on here, but- sometimes it's good for the soul.. right? 
i thought so.

Picture brought to you by: flikr ;]

Sunday, February 15, 2009


It's quite funny, i just literally signed out when i happened to receive a text that might've sparked an ongoing subject. & even though it probably would've been more appropriate for Poseur or Poseur Fan, i felt more obligated to unveil it to the dedicated followers. no matter how many there are (or aren't.)

I happened to ask them honestly, what do they want. What are their thoughts, and feelings. Just simply state them. 
They shot back: " I want us. The real us. Not fake versions. I want what we had when we first met. That great chemistry we had. When we could talk forever and not stop. " 
>>>>>>i read. and re-read. and read it over and over again <<<<<<<<<
And the whole time, something sparked in the back of my mind. 
i wanted that too. 
For the longest time i've pondered over the possible explanations of why we haven't been able to do that anymore. Is it because we've gotten older? Is it because we've changed? Have we talked so much, nothing seems new anymore? A hundred questions have raced through my mind, but nothing seemed to match up. 
P.. O.. S.. E.. U.. R.. S...
That's all we are. 
Maybe me more than anyone. 
But yet, aren't we like everybody else? Nobody's the real deal 24/7. We all have our secrets, we all have our little habits no one else realizes, we all have a side that we don't exactly show on contact. 
We're all prisoners, trapped- confined in our minds to be something we aren't. Whether we realize it or not. 
Think about it for a second.

Interesting, eh?
Thought so.

& for the person that clarified this. 
We need to get back to the real us. 
I want that chemistry just as bad as you do.. 
the only problem is..
once we're gone, 
i don't think we can get back to what we used to be...
one step at a time.
that's what we have to take....

((((to be cont'd))))


Tagged ;]

1.You must post these rules.
2.You need to list 8 random things or habits that you do or have.
3.Bloggers that get tagged must write on their own blog about their 8 things.
4.At the end of the post you must list 8 people to get tagged.
5.Leave the people comments on their blogs saying you tagged them.

My wonderful 8 random things and habits:

1. I try to always eat with a fork & knife. Seriously. anything from hot dogs to cheeseburgers. 
2. i like boys..;] lol but i am NOT boy loco.
3. When i can't sleep at night, i "type" my thoughts, or "text" them. 
4. I dream in random spurts. Mon: nada. Tues: nada. Wed: dream. Thurs: dream. Fri: dream. Sat: nada. etc..
5. When i get bored, i "transport myself" into other worlds. well, like, i imagine myself in a different environment or situation.. etc. i make up characters too.
6. Nervous habits. Holding my necklace, fidgeting with a ring on my finger, and obliterating the inside of my lips!
7. 9 out of 10 times, i'd rather cuddle than kiss. But, kissing is a great alternative. not that i've done it enough times to know.
8.I wish i had more readers, but i love the ones i do have! 

Here are SOME of my wonderful followers who I would like to tag:
1. Tandice the Dreamer
2. Hailey
3. Olive (aka Jordan)
4. Annie Lyn
5. Dyslexic Tragedy
6. Blue Hearts
7. Lonnie Love

8. quietmilk


Love Always,

Friday, February 13, 2009

Okay, so i found these AMAZING glasses at Rue 21 ;}) 
OBAMA! woo.. 
lol i really, really, really wanted them- but i didn't have any money =[

♪ ♥ ♫ ☼ ☺ 

My wish came true!

Oh, Cupid. You really do make wishes come true!

I have a boyfriend. ;) he's cute, he gets kind of red in the face at times.. (lol) He's constantly smiling, he's muscular, he never says things in a perverted manner, he doesn't talk your ear off.. & he ♥'s me!
talk about perfect.
this valentine's day rocks!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


I have to admit, i think i was born in the wrong time.

I'm pretty positive i was meant to be born either in the 1900's to the 1920's or 1930's- 40's.

I think it was supposed to be my fate. i ♥ it all..
bad or good.

[2009. grr.]

Monday, February 9, 2009

Dear Cupid..

I ask in all seriousness for a granting of one particular wish. (ignoring the whole "be careful what you wish for" crap. i mean, stuff)

I would please like a boyfriend. [lol] for Valentine's day. 
It would be most appreciated.
I would love you forever- and my happiness would show in tree-mendous amounts..
So, if you could file this request, that'd be just fabulous.
p.s i'm not too picky, you know what i like (or should i say, who i like. ;] )
xoxo ♥     

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Howdy Doo.

I'm actually extremely tired and somewhat grouchy, but I'm trying to be one with myself. 

So, today was ISSMA instrumental and i was in a quartet & solo. I received Gold in both ;] which made me really excited. [ no matter how hard that might be to imagine currently. ] After all this competitive-ness, i ended up going to McDonald's with the Family *and Roxie and we hung around there before i had to head home for a basketball game in which i played in pep band.. But i ended up leaving early due to exhaustion and my mother not wanting to pick me up later after 9.  Anyways, it's been an extremely long day. Some things fun, some not. Eh. Time for bed..