Thursday, July 30, 2009

Dreams- Nightmares.. etc.

It's so weird, but yet, addicting beyond any addiction.
Okay. Maybe there was a tad bit of exaggeration included in that, but still.
So today i was messing around on Facebook when a friend of mine popped up on chat. Of course, i responded- and we started talking about how interesting and such dreams were. (Mine always seem to be pretty jacked up. Hence the previous post on "Hitler.") Then, he had told me how his girlfriend had been having some weird dreams, so he'd been searching around for things about analyzing dreams, when he brought up
Knowing my past love for always trying to figure out what all the crazy things that happen in my dream life mean, I got on the site and started typing in key words of things that had happened or appeared in my dream.
(For instance, my last dream, i was & saw vampires, and for part of it i was held captive, and attacked. -weird, i know.) So i typed in Vampire, and later things about attacks and captive.
Every single thing i typed in that the website had an interpretation for, was crazy mind-boggling. All the interpretation's had an exact definition of things going on in my life, and how i was feeling- that were never exactly apparent to myself. I mean, i knew what struggles & stresses i had, and how i felt, but i never really knew the deeper meaning behind them..
So, all in all, aside from my crazy new addiction and the discovery that my sub conscience is a genius. I highly recommend this site if you ever have 3 things at hand.
1) a computer.
2) boredom. [or mild interest sparked from this blog]
3) an odd dream.

You may just discover some new things about yourself...
go for it :)

Always & forever,

Saturday, July 25, 2009

...and a barrel of sighs.

One: i don't know why the title i chose, is, well, the title i chose.
Two: I'm sighing quite a lot right now.
Three: I'm not quite sure what to think about life right now.

> Lately, I've had Marching Band Camp, which is totally exhausting, but so much fun! i loved it :) Also, my mother has a boyfriend. Weird, but true. And i met his 2 daughters the other day... and now, my dear sister is pregnant. Exciting ;]

I've realized, these last two weeks, I've been focused on band camp, and going to it, then later coming home. For the last 2 weeks, I've been genuinely almost carefree. Now that it's over?
Reality is setting back in.
My honest-to-blog bestie since birth? We're now.. good friends.. & family. And sadly, i think her "best friend" is turning her atheist.
My best friend for 3 years, moved away. I have no idea how she expected me and our other best friend to survive high school without her. But we're trying. I'm worried sick about her, though.
My ex, best friend. I can barely ever talk to him anymore without upsetting someone.

Obviously, i don't believe in just "one" best friend. Honestly, because I've never had one person that's always been there, that I've grown up with, that when we go to each other's houses, it's like going to our 2nd family's house. More in my life, i have someone who's my best friend, for every stage of my life.. sad, but true.

Thursday, July 2, 2009


Lately i've been thinking about what i want to be when i, well, grow up. I have so many things that i'd say i'm fairly okay at, but that i enjoy doing. Which in my opinion, a job is only a job the day you stop having fun with it. 
A person can only do so many things as a career, and soon, i'm going to have to decide what exactly i want to become, where exactly i want to go to college, what exactly i want to study, where i'm going to live, etc.. It's kind of exhausting trying to figure out all the details. But then again, i forget i always have to figure in what i want vs. what reality will actually throw at me.. So. I've been tossing around different ideal careers, trying to imagine me as one, contemplating on if i'm willing to dedicate my time during the day, doing exactly that career daily... Some i dwell on are:
- something in the medical field, more a doctor than nurse
- fashion designer
- writer
- make up artist
- something in music

etc... i don't know. I have diverse interests, and i don't know where the chips have fallen yet. 
Golly Moses.