Saturday, January 23, 2010


Posting lately hasn't exactly been the easiest thing to be able to do. 

Honestly, why can't you post on an iPod Touch?!?!!?! jeezy louisy

Well.. This month, along with the next few, are/are going to be, extremely hectic. 
Show choir competitions start popping up within the next 3 weeks, therefore, show choir practice is frequent. Also, ISSMA is the 30th. I was doing a solo & trio.. BUT, because i've been so busy and stressed, i can't handle both on top of everything. Which means, no solo. I'm just going to focus my attention on school, show choir, and trio part. yikes. 
Unfortunately, I can't quite say i've been very.. um, religious? lately. I've become a "bad christian." I pray. Quite frequently. I believe in the Lord. I'm a good person, i follow the commandments, but reading the bible just hasn't done much for me. Honestly-i blame my bible. I've grown out of it and need one that sparks my interest. So, I'm saving up for a new teen study bible. (I'm pretty stoked!) 
Also, remember Interlochen: Arts Academy? AKA the school I've been wanting to attend FOREVER?! Well, when i first attempted to apply, i didn't have any idea what major i wanted to go for. (They have things like, a theatre major, dance major, creative writing major, etc..) And knowing myself, i couldn't decide between a music major or creative writing. Both is pretty much a passion. This, as you can see, caused a bit of conflict to reflect on wether or not i sent the application in on time. I didn't. THEN, today, i got a letter in the mail from them stating that they had a new major. One that lets students that don't have the interest in excelling in only one major, choose a mixture of their classes. So while pursuing music, one could say.. pursue creative writing at the same time. And art...
Sign from God?   I'm not quite sure... :/

Sigh: so warning, i'm about to open up on my love life on the internet (as always). i don't blame you if you stop reading now. 
Okay, so, my boyfriend is amazing. We've been dating for almost 5 months and i mean, our pictures even going in our high school's yearbook.  Well.. this last week, things sucked between us. He wouldn't talk to me, he didn't even really act like i was alive! SO, i decided that if that's the way he was going to play it, i wasn't going to talk to or acknowledge him until he did so first. Immature? maybe a tad.. but what's a girl to do in said situations? exactly.  Plus, along with this, he's been making me quite furious. All the time he gets irritated with me because i won't share my thoughts, or opinions, or how i feel with him, but YET- he doesn't say a darn thing to me when i ask him about his. For example, the other day he was walking home with me from school, and was acting weird. "What's the matter?" "what's the matter?" "what's the matter??" (i kept asking and asking; he refused to fess up.) Later, what does he do? Messages my best friend on Fbook and pretty much spills everything to her! This is not the first or last time this has/will happen. guaranteed. When i say something to both of them, they both go into the extreme saying, "fine! i just won't talk or hang out with them again." which makes me even more irritated then i was in the first place! It's exhausting!! I just- i want my boyfriend to be able to talk to me. 
He wants a slightly more serious relationship, but if he can't even have somewhat deep conversations with me, how could we ever have that? O_O

       Dating for fun? or to find your future spouse?
Leave a comment and give your opinion! Please & thanks!

Good songs of the month
~ You make my Dreams- Hall & Oates
~When I Grow Up (Punk Goes Pop vol. 2)- Mayday Parade
~ Ma Belle Evangeline - Princess and the Frog
~Almost There- Princess and the Frog
~Love you I do- Dream Girls
~You and I - Ingrid Michaelson
~ C'est L'amour- Rosi Golan
~Imagine - Glee Cast vol. 2
~Jimmy's Got a Girlfriend- The Wilkinsons
~Mario Kart Loves Song- Sam Hart :D


Friday, December 4, 2009

stress relief

SO. Lately i've been super stressed to the maxx and haven't been sleeping well at ALL. ughh; First, i've been trying to finish A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickens- so far the most hardest book to comprehend that i've read yet!  2nd. I've been performing more with my flute. And this coming week i have a school Holiday Concert, Wednesday, and another performance Saturday. aka; Sweet Sounds of the Holidays. Where i will be performing in our show choir, accompanying our varsity choir with a piece that i play flute on. AND i'm playing in our concert band. All on Wednesday. YIKES> and the same thing happens Friday (minus the concert band part.)  Then. on Sunday, i perform singing and playing my flute to a Christmas song for the annual church Christmas program. i'm so nervous.. 

The book i have to finish?  yeah. book review due WEDNESDAY. i'm on page 50 out of 372.  MLS.    [my life sucks. cough cough]

oh well.  i breathe in, i breathe out, and i take things as it comes.

a couple weeks ago i was in a play, Flowers For Algernon :D 

here's a lovely photo from it...

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Soul Sistahs ♥

I absolutely adore this chick. We've been through thick & thin, but still best friends 'til the end. Ah. i can't wait until the big 18th birthday of mine- when me and my soul sistah get matching tatoos. Yay-ye-yay-ya! 

By the way; the little munchkin boys in the background= my adorable nephews :D

Saturday, October 17, 2009

read further.

i. am. sick. of. this. mediocrity. 

Thursday, September 3, 2009


Wow. i haven't been on here in ages. My apologies.

So, tons of things in my life have changed. I'm becoming closer to my friends, and i'm having BEST FRIENDS again. Joshuah and i aren't together anymore. It was hard to do, harder to go through, but i feel better now. I loved him. There's no denying that.. but, i think he was just too serious, too much to handle, right now in my life. I'm a freshman, and high school absolutely sucked in the beginning, but it's finally starting to look up :)
Okay, here's the D.L on my love life. Me + Josh = Break up. But towards the end of that, (let's call him Z.) Made me realize how much fun a relationship could be- not planning a future together every moment. And even though i started dating Z right after Josh, deep down, i knew it wasn't going to go anywhere. But.. it was fun. It changed things up in my life and made me remember the free feeling i used to have all the time. Now i'm not like, a whore or anything. Or a player. And i don't jump from guy to guy every week. Just throwing that out there. But i think that dating should be fun. I don't think you should date for the sole purpose of finding "the one." I think you should date to find yourself; your likes, your dislikes, try new things, etc.. That's what i say. So. Z and i didn't last very long, mainly because we just didn't know each other very much. At all.
About a week after Z (i don't normally do this) my friend SPV, asked me out. This being the same guy that i had planned on dating last year before Josh ever came into the picture. I had the biggest crush on him, but.. i had been scared our friendship would be ruined if it didn't work out. So.. i never went for it. *fast forward through the josh stage* ANYWAYS> i said yes to SPV. And it's great. We're going to Homecoming together. We've been dating for almost a week, and i feel like I'm going slow in a relationship (which is how it should be) and really enjoying every moment of it. *** cue sigh of relief ***
Next. My friend, yelled at me after Josh and i broke it off. Some swearing language was involved, and it wasn't pretty. She claimed i always do this and that i should've contacted her during the summer more (she moved over the summer). All i can say is, a phone works 2 ways.

My schedule's been full, my classes have been long, but I've never been happier. Constantly going helps me function better, i don't deal well with being home a lot. It slows me down. At this rate with French Club, Synergy (show choir), Marching Band, and staying after school going back through last year's Algebra 1 content, I'm booked. Thank goodness.
Anyways, i got to go dye my hair. Possibly. *** psst: hopefully! ***


Thursday, July 30, 2009

Dreams- Nightmares.. etc.

It's so weird, but yet, addicting beyond any addiction.
Okay. Maybe there was a tad bit of exaggeration included in that, but still.
So today i was messing around on Facebook when a friend of mine popped up on chat. Of course, i responded- and we started talking about how interesting and such dreams were. (Mine always seem to be pretty jacked up. Hence the previous post on "Hitler.") Then, he had told me how his girlfriend had been having some weird dreams, so he'd been searching around for things about analyzing dreams, when he brought up
Knowing my past love for always trying to figure out what all the crazy things that happen in my dream life mean, I got on the site and started typing in key words of things that had happened or appeared in my dream.
(For instance, my last dream, i was & saw vampires, and for part of it i was held captive, and attacked. -weird, i know.) So i typed in Vampire, and later things about attacks and captive.
Every single thing i typed in that the website had an interpretation for, was crazy mind-boggling. All the interpretation's had an exact definition of things going on in my life, and how i was feeling- that were never exactly apparent to myself. I mean, i knew what struggles & stresses i had, and how i felt, but i never really knew the deeper meaning behind them..
So, all in all, aside from my crazy new addiction and the discovery that my sub conscience is a genius. I highly recommend this site if you ever have 3 things at hand.
1) a computer.
2) boredom. [or mild interest sparked from this blog]
3) an odd dream.

You may just discover some new things about yourself...
go for it :)

Always & forever,

Saturday, July 25, 2009

...and a barrel of sighs.

One: i don't know why the title i chose, is, well, the title i chose.
Two: I'm sighing quite a lot right now.
Three: I'm not quite sure what to think about life right now.

> Lately, I've had Marching Band Camp, which is totally exhausting, but so much fun! i loved it :) Also, my mother has a boyfriend. Weird, but true. And i met his 2 daughters the other day... and now, my dear sister is pregnant. Exciting ;]

I've realized, these last two weeks, I've been focused on band camp, and going to it, then later coming home. For the last 2 weeks, I've been genuinely almost carefree. Now that it's over?
Reality is setting back in.
My honest-to-blog bestie since birth? We're now.. good friends.. & family. And sadly, i think her "best friend" is turning her atheist.
My best friend for 3 years, moved away. I have no idea how she expected me and our other best friend to survive high school without her. But we're trying. I'm worried sick about her, though.
My ex, best friend. I can barely ever talk to him anymore without upsetting someone.

Obviously, i don't believe in just "one" best friend. Honestly, because I've never had one person that's always been there, that I've grown up with, that when we go to each other's houses, it's like going to our 2nd family's house. More in my life, i have someone who's my best friend, for every stage of my life.. sad, but true.