Friday, December 4, 2009

stress relief

SO. Lately i've been super stressed to the maxx and haven't been sleeping well at ALL. ughh; First, i've been trying to finish A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickens- so far the most hardest book to comprehend that i've read yet!  2nd. I've been performing more with my flute. And this coming week i have a school Holiday Concert, Wednesday, and another performance Saturday. aka; Sweet Sounds of the Holidays. Where i will be performing in our show choir, accompanying our varsity choir with a piece that i play flute on. AND i'm playing in our concert band. All on Wednesday. YIKES> and the same thing happens Friday (minus the concert band part.)  Then. on Sunday, i perform singing and playing my flute to a Christmas song for the annual church Christmas program. i'm so nervous.. 

The book i have to finish?  yeah. book review due WEDNESDAY. i'm on page 50 out of 372.  MLS.    [my life sucks. cough cough]

oh well.  i breathe in, i breathe out, and i take things as it comes.

a couple weeks ago i was in a play, Flowers For Algernon :D 

here's a lovely photo from it...

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Soul Sistahs ♥

I absolutely adore this chick. We've been through thick & thin, but still best friends 'til the end. Ah. i can't wait until the big 18th birthday of mine- when me and my soul sistah get matching tatoos. Yay-ye-yay-ya! 

By the way; the little munchkin boys in the background= my adorable nephews :D

Saturday, October 17, 2009

read further.

i. am. sick. of. this. mediocrity. 

Thursday, September 3, 2009


Wow. i haven't been on here in ages. My apologies.

So, tons of things in my life have changed. I'm becoming closer to my friends, and i'm having BEST FRIENDS again. Joshuah and i aren't together anymore. It was hard to do, harder to go through, but i feel better now. I loved him. There's no denying that.. but, i think he was just too serious, too much to handle, right now in my life. I'm a freshman, and high school absolutely sucked in the beginning, but it's finally starting to look up :)
Okay, here's the D.L on my love life. Me + Josh = Break up. But towards the end of that, (let's call him Z.) Made me realize how much fun a relationship could be- not planning a future together every moment. And even though i started dating Z right after Josh, deep down, i knew it wasn't going to go anywhere. But.. it was fun. It changed things up in my life and made me remember the free feeling i used to have all the time. Now i'm not like, a whore or anything. Or a player. And i don't jump from guy to guy every week. Just throwing that out there. But i think that dating should be fun. I don't think you should date for the sole purpose of finding "the one." I think you should date to find yourself; your likes, your dislikes, try new things, etc.. That's what i say. So. Z and i didn't last very long, mainly because we just didn't know each other very much. At all.
About a week after Z (i don't normally do this) my friend SPV, asked me out. This being the same guy that i had planned on dating last year before Josh ever came into the picture. I had the biggest crush on him, but.. i had been scared our friendship would be ruined if it didn't work out. So.. i never went for it. *fast forward through the josh stage* ANYWAYS> i said yes to SPV. And it's great. We're going to Homecoming together. We've been dating for almost a week, and i feel like I'm going slow in a relationship (which is how it should be) and really enjoying every moment of it. *** cue sigh of relief ***
Next. My friend, yelled at me after Josh and i broke it off. Some swearing language was involved, and it wasn't pretty. She claimed i always do this and that i should've contacted her during the summer more (she moved over the summer). All i can say is, a phone works 2 ways.

My schedule's been full, my classes have been long, but I've never been happier. Constantly going helps me function better, i don't deal well with being home a lot. It slows me down. At this rate with French Club, Synergy (show choir), Marching Band, and staying after school going back through last year's Algebra 1 content, I'm booked. Thank goodness.
Anyways, i got to go dye my hair. Possibly. *** psst: hopefully! ***


Thursday, July 30, 2009

Dreams- Nightmares.. etc.

It's so weird, but yet, addicting beyond any addiction.
Okay. Maybe there was a tad bit of exaggeration included in that, but still.
So today i was messing around on Facebook when a friend of mine popped up on chat. Of course, i responded- and we started talking about how interesting and such dreams were. (Mine always seem to be pretty jacked up. Hence the previous post on "Hitler.") Then, he had told me how his girlfriend had been having some weird dreams, so he'd been searching around for things about analyzing dreams, when he brought up
Knowing my past love for always trying to figure out what all the crazy things that happen in my dream life mean, I got on the site and started typing in key words of things that had happened or appeared in my dream.
(For instance, my last dream, i was & saw vampires, and for part of it i was held captive, and attacked. -weird, i know.) So i typed in Vampire, and later things about attacks and captive.
Every single thing i typed in that the website had an interpretation for, was crazy mind-boggling. All the interpretation's had an exact definition of things going on in my life, and how i was feeling- that were never exactly apparent to myself. I mean, i knew what struggles & stresses i had, and how i felt, but i never really knew the deeper meaning behind them..
So, all in all, aside from my crazy new addiction and the discovery that my sub conscience is a genius. I highly recommend this site if you ever have 3 things at hand.
1) a computer.
2) boredom. [or mild interest sparked from this blog]
3) an odd dream.

You may just discover some new things about yourself...
go for it :)

Always & forever,

Saturday, July 25, 2009

...and a barrel of sighs.

One: i don't know why the title i chose, is, well, the title i chose.
Two: I'm sighing quite a lot right now.
Three: I'm not quite sure what to think about life right now.

> Lately, I've had Marching Band Camp, which is totally exhausting, but so much fun! i loved it :) Also, my mother has a boyfriend. Weird, but true. And i met his 2 daughters the other day... and now, my dear sister is pregnant. Exciting ;]

I've realized, these last two weeks, I've been focused on band camp, and going to it, then later coming home. For the last 2 weeks, I've been genuinely almost carefree. Now that it's over?
Reality is setting back in.
My honest-to-blog bestie since birth? We're now.. good friends.. & family. And sadly, i think her "best friend" is turning her atheist.
My best friend for 3 years, moved away. I have no idea how she expected me and our other best friend to survive high school without her. But we're trying. I'm worried sick about her, though.
My ex, best friend. I can barely ever talk to him anymore without upsetting someone.

Obviously, i don't believe in just "one" best friend. Honestly, because I've never had one person that's always been there, that I've grown up with, that when we go to each other's houses, it's like going to our 2nd family's house. More in my life, i have someone who's my best friend, for every stage of my life.. sad, but true.

Thursday, July 2, 2009


Lately i've been thinking about what i want to be when i, well, grow up. I have so many things that i'd say i'm fairly okay at, but that i enjoy doing. Which in my opinion, a job is only a job the day you stop having fun with it. 
A person can only do so many things as a career, and soon, i'm going to have to decide what exactly i want to become, where exactly i want to go to college, what exactly i want to study, where i'm going to live, etc.. It's kind of exhausting trying to figure out all the details. But then again, i forget i always have to figure in what i want vs. what reality will actually throw at me.. So. I've been tossing around different ideal careers, trying to imagine me as one, contemplating on if i'm willing to dedicate my time during the day, doing exactly that career daily... Some i dwell on are:
- something in the medical field, more a doctor than nurse
- fashion designer
- writer
- make up artist
- something in music

etc... i don't know. I have diverse interests, and i don't know where the chips have fallen yet. 
Golly Moses.


Saturday, June 13, 2009

This past week...

Lots and lots of drama went down. Surprise kisses, psycho ex's, and creepy stalkers. Makes you curious to hear the story... eh?

good. lol
I'm not telling though. 

OH. and i got some interesting news that shocked me last night. But all is well.. 
hmmm........ I'm exhausted. Work, work, working= gigantic pay check $$$ that i love. ♥ ♥ ♥

AH- mum's calling to head to the bank.


Friday, June 5, 2009

Summer job;;

Here we go. >

Imagine: A little teensy weensy yeller cabin. A miniature white pup.  Lots & lots of ginormous suitcases. and what do you have?

My current life.

So.. my summer job's underway. I'm kind of depressed since, well, i work at a church camp, so all my friends are coming this weekend to attend camp. While i get to clean and serve them. Joy. 
My boyfriend shall be there. My best friend/cousin. My BFFF&E/ex-boyfriend. And a whole lot of other people shall be here too. This should get interesting. Especially since i'm not single this summer. It feels kind of weird, i won't lie. 

Oh, yeah. I just cut & colored my hair. lol I, personally, think i look better... but we'll see.

Well.. the parental 'tis calling. 
Any summer jobs?


Tuesday, June 2, 2009


I'm not proud to say this, but say this, indeed, i will. The other night i had the most odd and disturbing dream about one of the world's most terrible leaders in the history of mankind. 

i had a dream about Adolph Hitler.

In it i was a Nazi. Strange and unbearable and the whole time i was one, i had the feeling that i didn't want to be but was being forced. I was one among many and we were inside a huge fortress built somewhat like a maze- at every turn of the corner, a more superior officer was there and we had to do the proper Nazi Salute. Throughout the dream, i was constantly in a panic- running to and fro trying to find friends of a certain Jewish nature. I had the strongest feeling that terrible things were in store for them and i was trying to save them. Eventually i came directly in front of Hitler himself, saluting him and getting the most nauseous feeling I've ever felt before, as i did so. Finally, as my rushing and running came to an end, i was standing face-to-face with my Jewish friends. Three in total, all in the poorest condition, and on their knees with soldiers behind and to the sides of them. As i started to say something to them, i realized i couldn't speak. I was speechless. One of them was crying; sobbing uncontrollably, another- eyes glazed over staring into a black abyss. One just simply looked back at me. Still with a lump in my throat and a couple tears in my eyes, i started to turn away to get more help. Somewhere, anything or anybody i could find to help me save my friends. As i turned, instantly. 
Shots rang in my ears.
One by one my friends were shot and i was terrified. I had no idea what to do, where to go, what to say, how to feel. I was virtually blank. And then..

i awoke.

any comments?


Sunday, May 31, 2009


i love it;;


Saturday, May 30, 2009

Almost here..

So, last night, my lovely boyfriend was supposed to come over and hang out. But... some things came up.

& that didn't happen. 
From that, though, something magnificent in every single way happened. 
My friend Hamber spent the night :) we had a blast!
We grilled out with my family, had ice cream, hung out at the park, trying to hit a giant rock with pebbles (she rocked, i sucked.) 
And according to her.. i might've maybe, more than likely, kicked her in the face a couple times during the night. 
*I'm a violent sleeper.*

Today- should be fun, i mean, so far it has been... OH. After 2:45, on Monday. School is officially OUT. *finally!*  and Freshman year, here i come ;] look out.

anybody on summer break already?

Aliella ☺♥☻

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Well, how about that.
Me and a few of my crazy friends :)
@ our 8th grade lock-in...
we attempted the High School Musical pose-
needless to say..........
we failed miserably. 

Forever & Always,

Monday, May 18, 2009


So.. i'm pretty much stressed to the maxx.. 

Besides the fact that i have stupid Core 40 exams all this week, one of my close uncle's had a heart attack the other night and had to have surgery, and today my cousin/best friend was admitted to the ER and now is heading to the hospital where my uncle's at because she has 3 cysts on her ovaries. I'm, i don't know, frazzled. 

Not mentioning the fact that i've not been able to sleep well the last week. 

Prayers would be greatly appreciated for all of the above. 

always & forever <3


Monday, May 11, 2009

Poem, poem, poem...

My boyfriend wrote this; he says it's his first poem..ever. But i don't believe him. Not one bit.

More than you know.

I love how i feel when i hold you tight, 
How when my world gets dark, 
you are always my light.

I love how you kiss me, the fireworks i see.
How when you're around, 
it's no longer "i", but "we"

I love how every day, my love seems to grow.
I love these things more than you'll ever know.

I love how you talk, and the way that you walk.
I love when your eyes wander over to me, 
how when you're in the room, you're all that i see.

I love how our love is not just a show, 
I'd say that i love you, but you already know. 

Monday, May 4, 2009

Hola lovelies ;)

A short poem;

Let me tell you i love you,
all through the years,
let my show my affection,
kiss away all your tears

let me say that you're mine
always and forever
let me keep you as my own
part from me never

let me tell you my dreams
and tell me yours too
let me share my ambitions
all i aspire to do

let me keep you in mind
and you can keep me
let me never be selfish
there's no "i" but just "we"

let me always be your baby
and you can be my man
let me tell you that i'm crazy
cause for you, babe, i just am.


Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Bullying; DAY 2

Isn't it sad, when someone can't even tell a higher authority about the abuse he's been taking all year long?

Yesterday, i suggested that he pay a trip to the guidance office. Whether they'd actually do anything or not. It couldn't hurt. Today, at the start of 4th, immediately the ridicule starts again. This time based on "why would he tell?" The "innocent ones" asked away. The poor soul getting yelled at and yelled at. (The teacher's in the hallway at this time.) When they let up, i ask him. Did he go? That's when he comes closer, looks around cautiously, and dips his head.
"can you keep a secret?" He asks me. I nod my head, as he goes into how [our school's favorite saying] "snitches get stitches" scares him. He's afraid they'll get him if he tells.

>wow. So, now.. what would you do?


Tuesday, April 28, 2009

What do you do, when you sit everyday in silence, witnessing a tragedy in the making. you watch one boy, getting laughed at, getting mocked, being egged on until he does things he never wanted to do in the first place.

who do you tell? teachers sit back and watch, some laugh along, some pretend they don't see, some pay no attention. they don't want to deal with it. out higher school powers play videos, give lectures, etc.. It doesn't work, and I'm pretty sure they know this. So why don't they try to do something more?
Why? Because the ones who bully, the ones who are the people to blame, are people like the captain of the softball team. Star football players, straight A, "example" students. Some people see this, and no justice is served, because when punishment is given, those star students can't play, they can't show what our school is made of. But why would they want to? 
Sometimes the places that are supposed to be our "safe" places. Our home away from home. The places filled with people that help us grow, learn, live, love, etc.. they really disgust me sometimes. From all this, things that happen when people let things go "unnoticed" are tragic. School shootings... suicides... and other violent acts come of this. AND the really amazing thing is how the people that let & cause these terrible things to happen are the ones who think hard, and just can't seem to realize why situations like this come about.

So, what would you do?

[ welcome to middle school ]



Sunday, April 26, 2009

Joshuah.. :) ♥

WELL. I've thought for awhile, about just what i was going to say, about a boy, who's on my mind, every minute of every day. 

And, goodness, i can't even begin to type a word that says what i feel. 

From the butterflies that never stop, to the kisses i wish would never end... he's perfect.

(For ME, at least.) Excuse my small moment of selfishness. My apologies.

He always makes me smile, and always makes me laugh. He.. well, he...shucks. 

If you couldn't tell at the beginning of this post, i hope you can tell now. I keep attempting the start of a poem. But, he just means so much to me, that i can't even write a single freaking poem to express it all! sigh.


Anyways, here he is :] 

i love him. 
OH. and here's something that says a little bit of what i wanted this post to say.

(i got this off of photobucket)

" & when i first met you
i never would have imagined
that i would have such strong
feelings for you, i never would 
have thought that i would have
dreams about you or miss being
by your side or get butterflies in
my stomach when someone
mentions your name, when i first
met you i never would have 
thought that i would love you... "

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Perished thoughts

OH man, so, today, my mom decided that we were going to pay a visit to my grandpa's grave, which wasn't exactly my ideal trip.. but still.

As i sat in the car with my little sister- both of us watching as our mother stood at his stone. Standing silently, and frozen- as her hair blew in the wind, i thought to myself. His death wasn't a separation. It wasn't the end of a mere life. It was just the beginning. It was a wake up call to reality. It caused a bonding beyond belief to form. 
My family, because of his passing, had been brought together, closer then before.. Once again, my aunt's and uncles have shed tears together, they've shared countless memories together, they've been there for each other, and so much more. Our family, has become a family, once again, and for that.. i'm grateful. 
Some people have never had what i have now... sad, but true.

E.D.S; a father, a grandfather, a teacher, a friend, and so much more... we love you. R.I.P

Thursday, April 16, 2009


I made it. 

I actually freakin' made it. 

Truth be told, i didn't think i would. and i DID. 

I'm so totally stoked right now, and i have to admit, i have screamed once or twice since i found out. ;)

i have family bonding time, so, i'll blog soon.

fo shizznik.



p.s. YAY!

Sunday, April 12, 2009


I haven't blogged in ages! 

My deepest apologies. lol

The thing is, i've had sooo much to type about, but when i start to blog, nothing comes out. 


Things have been super busy, Show Choir try-outs have gone great. We need more guys, otherwise no girls  (like me) are going to get in. Sadly. BUT. I do have call backs tomorrow.
So, hopefully i blow them away and they make an exception.
Keep your fingers crossed.
I was going to put some pictures from spring break (and my madre's party) on here, but they're too dark.

I gotta blast.


Always  & forever,

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Raindrops on roses...


First thing i love about the rain, is the feeling of it, when it just covers you in drops..

Second thing, the smell after. If i could ever somehow, capture the smell after the rain- it would be amazing!

Third thing, just the look of pouring rain. Completely, and utterly, breathtaking. 

>Is it strange, that I've always wanted to have this kind of power, to just.. slow time- when it rains? Or be able to walk between raindrops.. 
Or be able to just see a single raindrop. The way it sparkles, the way it shines, it's true form.

That would be absolutely positively phenomenal.