Friday, December 4, 2009
SO. Lately i've been super stressed to the maxx and haven't been sleeping well at ALL. ughh; First, i've been trying to finish A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickens- so far the most hardest book to comprehend that i've read yet! 2nd. I've been performing more with my flute. And this coming week i have a school Holiday Concert, Wednesday, and another performance Saturday. aka; Sweet Sounds of the Holidays. Where i will be performing in our show choir, accompanying our varsity choir with a piece that i play flute on. AND i'm playing in our concert band. All on Wednesday. YIKES> and the same thing happens Friday (minus the concert band part.) Then. on Sunday, i perform singing and playing my flute to a Christmas song for the annual church Christmas program. i'm so nervous..
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Wow. i haven't been on here in ages. My apologies.
So, tons of things in my life have changed. I'm becoming closer to my friends, and i'm having BEST FRIENDS again. Joshuah and i aren't together anymore. It was hard to do, harder to go through, but i feel better now. I loved him. There's no denying that.. but, i think he was just too serious, too much to handle, right now in my life. I'm a freshman, and high school absolutely sucked in the beginning, but it's finally starting to look up :)
Okay, here's the D.L on my love life. Me + Josh = Break up. But towards the end of that, (let's call him Z.) Made me realize how much fun a relationship could be- not planning a future together every moment. And even though i started dating Z right after Josh, deep down, i knew it wasn't going to go anywhere. But.. it was fun. It changed things up in my life and made me remember the free feeling i used to have all the time. Now i'm not like, a whore or anything. Or a player. And i don't jump from guy to guy every week. Just throwing that out there. But i think that dating should be fun. I don't think you should date for the sole purpose of finding "the one." I think you should date to find yourself; your likes, your dislikes, try new things, etc.. That's what i say. So. Z and i didn't last very long, mainly because we just didn't know each other very much. At all.
About a week after Z (i don't normally do this) my friend SPV, asked me out. This being the same guy that i had planned on dating last year before Josh ever came into the picture. I had the biggest crush on him, but.. i had been scared our friendship would be ruined if it didn't work out. So.. i never went for it. *fast forward through the josh stage* ANYWAYS> i said yes to SPV. And it's great. We're going to Homecoming together. We've been dating for almost a week, and i feel like I'm going slow in a relationship (which is how it should be) and really enjoying every moment of it. *** cue sigh of relief ***
Next. My friend, yelled at me after Josh and i broke it off. Some swearing language was involved, and it wasn't pretty. She claimed i always do this and that i should've contacted her during the summer more (she moved over the summer). All i can say is, a phone works 2 ways.
My schedule's been full, my classes have been long, but I've never been happier. Constantly going helps me function better, i don't deal well with being home a lot. It slows me down. At this rate with French Club, Synergy (show choir), Marching Band, and staying after school going back through last year's Algebra 1 content, I'm booked. Thank goodness.
Anyways, i got to go dye my hair. Possibly. *** psst: hopefully! ***
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Okay. Maybe there was a tad bit of exaggeration included in that, but still.
So today i was messing around on Facebook when a friend of mine popped up on chat. Of course, i responded- and we started talking about how interesting and such dreams were. (Mine always seem to be pretty jacked up. Hence the previous post on "Hitler.") Then, he had told me how his girlfriend had been having some weird dreams, so he'd been searching around for things about analyzing dreams, when he brought up www.dreammoods.com.
Knowing my past love for always trying to figure out what all the crazy things that happen in my dream life mean, I got on the site and started typing in key words of things that had happened or appeared in my dream.
(For instance, my last dream, i was & saw vampires, and for part of it i was held captive, and attacked. -weird, i know.) So i typed in Vampire, and later things about attacks and captive.
Every single thing i typed in that the website had an interpretation for, was crazy mind-boggling. All the interpretation's had an exact definition of things going on in my life, and how i was feeling- that were never exactly apparent to myself. I mean, i knew what struggles & stresses i had, and how i felt, but i never really knew the deeper meaning behind them..
So, all in all, aside from my crazy new addiction and the discovery that my sub conscience is a genius. I highly recommend this site if you ever have 3 things at hand.
2) boredom. [or mild interest sparked from this blog]
3) an odd dream.
go for it :)
Always & forever,
Saturday, July 25, 2009
One: i don't know why the title i chose, is, well, the title i chose.
Two: I'm sighing quite a lot right now.
Three: I'm not quite sure what to think about life right now.
> Lately, I've had Marching Band Camp, which is totally exhausting, but so much fun! i loved it :) Also, my mother has a boyfriend. Weird, but true. And i met his 2 daughters the other day... and now, my dear sister is pregnant. Exciting ;]
I've realized, these last two weeks, I've been focused on band camp, and going to it, then later coming home. For the last 2 weeks, I've been genuinely almost carefree. Now that it's over?
Reality is setting back in.
My honest-to-blog bestie since birth? We're now.. good friends.. & family. And sadly, i think her "best friend" is turning her atheist.
My best friend for 3 years, moved away. I have no idea how she expected me and our other best friend to survive high school without her. But we're trying. I'm worried sick about her, though.
My ex, best friend. I can barely ever talk to him anymore without upsetting someone.
Obviously, i don't believe in just "one" best friend. Honestly, because I've never had one person that's always been there, that I've grown up with, that when we go to each other's houses, it's like going to our 2nd family's house. More in my life, i have someone who's my best friend, for every stage of my life.. sad, but true.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Here we go. >
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
So, last night, my lovely boyfriend was supposed to come over and hang out. But... some things came up.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
So.. i'm pretty much stressed to the maxx..
Monday, May 11, 2009
My boyfriend wrote this; he says it's his first poem..ever. But i don't believe him. Not one bit.
I love how i feel when i hold you tight,
How when my world gets dark,
you are always my light.
I love how you kiss me, the fireworks i see.
How when you're around,
it's no longer "i", but "we"
I love how every day, my love seems to grow.
I love these things more than you'll ever know.
I love how you talk, and the way that you walk.
I love when your eyes wander over to me,
how when you're in the room, you're all that i see.
I love how our love is not just a show,
I'd say that i love you, but you already know.
Monday, May 4, 2009
A short poem;
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Isn't it sad, when someone can't even tell a higher authority about the abuse he's been taking all year long?
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
What do you do, when you sit everyday in silence, witnessing a tragedy in the making. you watch one boy, getting laughed at, getting mocked, being egged on until he does things he never wanted to do in the first place.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
WELL. I've thought for awhile, about just what i was going to say, about a boy, who's on my mind, every minute of every day.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
OH man, so, today, my mom decided that we were going to pay a visit to my grandpa's grave, which wasn't exactly my ideal trip.. but still.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I made it.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
I haven't blogged in ages!
Thursday, April 2, 2009